Life is always full of surprises.
You may also have the same feeling, that this is the moment to be very ok, then somehow an unexpected disappointing challenge may appear, knocking right at your head.
Still we may have (some) dreams.
We know we are not extraordinary, also don't have any superpower. But we believe we could achieve something which you have longed for.
Yes - We'll keep trying, re-tune and create your own path.
Your way to go through all your life challenges, indeed is very encouraging and unique.
Even though the result could not be exactly what you imagine, the courage to just be there is well-deserving your own affirmation.
We may have lots of emotions going through, which is normal; the uncertainty, disappointment, denial, anger, hopelessness...
Nevertheless, they are only fear - false evidence appealing real.
You may not see the path and it doesn't mean it's not there. God is in control and just don't limit God. It's natural to feel you are losing the control but that's not God losing the control. Just imagine when you are young, you will somehow feel things are absolutely ruining but that's only a small potato you'll find out later. You just need to get out of the shadow, 1 step at a time, and then you may not even recognize you're over that little stone which is too near your sight.
Of course, sometime a challenge may appear to be so hard. I will say out of nowhere indeed there are really little things showing God cares you - and from those evidences it is obviously possible for you to emerge stronger and better and the next time you'll just exclaim how amazing God wants you to feel his love and you'll become more humble, more easy-going and relaxed since you know the powerful God is just have you back.
It's an opportunity. Very fortunate to be in this moment of learning and growing.
